Shattered
by joolay
Summary: Why is it that Hermione has never realized her feelings for Harry until now? And WHY did it have to be at this sad time? Hogwarts is a depressing place this year, and times are tough. Can they all get through it?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Just the emotions and sadness of this story. Enjoy!  
  
Hermione sat, crumpled and crying, on the floor in her dorm room. She thought back to what she had just saw; why she was crying. When the thoughts melted back into her mind, she desperately tried to make them go away again. The scene was clear. She remembered fully, now.  
She had walked downstairs to get her Hogwart's, A History book off the night stand in the common room. And she had heard muffled sounds. She remembered reaching the couch, and had stopped dead in her tracks. What had she seen? She knew perfectly well. Harry had been on the couch, entwined with some girl. Who was she? And they had been making out deeply. Hermione had turned and fled from the room, holding back her tears until she reached her dorm, and had then fallen to the floor in agony, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
Why did it bother her so much that Harry was kissing another girl? It had never really bothered her before. He had kissed Cho, after-all, in his fifth year. But for some reason, even thinking about that bothered her now. She wiped her tears away furiously on the back of her nightgown's sleeve. Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming. Hermione jumped up and hopped into her bed, covering her face with her covers. She didn't want anyone to see her like this: Her eyes puffy red, and tear stained cheeks.  
She heard the door open and close, and not too long after, she could make out voices.  
"I am so tired. We've been up for two hours trying to finish our potion's essays." Said one voice. Hermione recognized it as Pansy.  
"I know. God, Snape works the hell out of us, doesn't he? My hand hurts." Said another. Hermione instantly knew it was a girl named Bridgett Emberton, because of the foul language.  
"Is Herms already asleep?" Hermione heard Pansy ask. Hermione gave a fake snore to convince them, and stirred a bit under the covers. "I suppose. Damn. She always gets her homework done before nine o'clock." Bridgett mumbled. Hermione heard a bed squeak, as Bridgett climbed into bed. Then there was another bed squeak. After a while, after no one had spoken and snores were heard, Hermione knew it was safe to cry herself to sleep. *  
Sunlight poured into the small room through the window. A shard of it fell across Hermione's face, and she opened her eyes slowly. She yawned and stretched a bit, her hand brushing her pillow. Wait.  
Why was her pillow moist? She caressed it skeptically. Then her memory came to her. Harry; the girl on the couch; Hermione crying util she had fallen asleep.  
Hermione sat up in her bed, and stared towards the window. It was quite sunny. She knew it would be a beautiful day. However, she wasn't sure if it would be a good one.  
  
Hermione changed into her robes, and walked over to the mirror that Pansy, Bridgett, and she shared. She cringed at the sight of herself. Her eyes were slightly puffy and bloodshot, and her hair was tangled and poofing out everywhere. She sighed, and took a deep breath. Oh well, she was going to have to make do with this look, until she could catch up with Pansy or Bridgett later on in the day. They always had makeup with them, and combs, which Hermione needed desperately at the moment.  
Hermione gave up and made her way downstairs. She hoped it would be a good day. She just hoped. *  
"Hey Herms!" A happy voice said. Hermione sighed and took a seat beside Harry, trying not to look too depressed or obvious. Harry smiled at her, and took a bite of eggs. "God", she thought. "He sure looks nice today." A swig of orange juice. "And look at his hair. Aw, it's so dark and messed up. He must not have combed it this morning." A bite of bacon. "His eyes are so pretty. Like, an electric green. Voltage green." Another bite of eggs. "His arms are so well toned and tan. I wonder.." She stopped day dreaming, when she noticed Harry was staring straight at her.  
"Herms, are you okay?" He asked, concern in his voice. Hermione shrugged, and looked down at her plate of pancakes.  
"Yeah, I'm okay Harry, thanks." But inside she wanted to scream, "What the hell were you doing with that girl last night, when you know I fucking love you!" She sighed and took a bite. The syrup tasted sour in her mouth, and stuck to her throat all the way down. *  
An hour later, she followed Harry and Ron to Defense Against the Dark Arts. The teacher this semester was Professor Moody, as he had not died or been fired last year, like all the other Dark Arts teachers had throughout Hogwart's history. She took her seat in the front by Ron. Before Moody arrived, she figured she would have time to talk to Ron about last night.  
"Ron," She started, poking him in the arm. Ron was flipping through his Chuddly Cannon's picture book.  
"Uh-hum?" He asked, seeming not that interested. Hermione rolled her eyes.  
"Ron! I need to talk to you about something!" But as soon as she said it, Moody was heard clunking towards the front. Every other step made a "clunk" from his wooden leg. He stopped at his desk, and smiled at all the students.  
"Good morning class. I trust you slept well." He took a sip from his hip flask. "Orange juice." He told Draco, who was giving him skeptical looks of disgust.  
"I didn't sleep well." Hermione thought to herself. Actually, had she slept at all? She couldn't remember. And even if she had, it was probably for only a few hours.  
  
"Well I had a rough night, myself." Moody said, walking to the front of his desk so everyone could see him. His magical eye was swiveling towards Hermione. His other eye was looking at the rest of the class. Hermione stared at him. Had he read her thoughts?  
"Get out your reports, please. I told you all to write a three-page summary of why you should never use a counter curse on Centaurs. I trust you all did as I asked." Now his eye was swiveling around towards Ron, who was making soft groans, and looking frantically through his folder. *  
After class was over, Hermione caught up with Ron, who was heading to his next class, Potions. That was her class, too.  
"Ron! Wait a minute! Please! I need to talk to you about something." She grabbed his arm. Ron stared at her, penetrating her with his blue eyes.  
"Herms, didn't you say that to me in Moody's class?" Hermione gaped at him. "Yes! But, well, Moody came in, and I didn't want to get in trouble. But now we can talk." Ron shrugged.  
"Okay." He stopped at a portrait, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Ask away." Hermione took a deep breath, taking her eyes from all the students flooding through the halls, and locked eyes with Ron's.  
"I saw Harry with some girl last night." She waited for a burst of words from him, but they never came.  
"So?" He said, giving her a strange look.  
"Well! They were kissing!" She huffed, stamping her foot impatiently on the stone floor. Ron shrugged.  
"Okay? What do you want me to do about it?" He stared at her. Hermione's hopes sank, realizing that it was dumb to tell him. She sighed.  
"I don't know."  
"Well, come on, then. We are going to be late for class." He said, grabbing her arm, and he led her to Potion's. * 


	2. Chapter Two

Hermione was extremely happy when Harry asked if she would be his partner in Potion's class. The two sat on stools at their desks, leaned over a bubbling cauldron. Hermione had a good opportunity to ask him about the other night, but she wasn't taking it.  
"Okay. So now we put in 3 pints of dragon blood." Harry said to no one in particular, mostly to himself. He picked up the vile of blood and poured it, smoothly into the cauldron. Hermione watched as a light erupted from it for a split second and lit up Harry's face momentarily. Then the cauldron sputtered, and became bubbly again. Hermione cleared her throat.  
"So, Harry. Who? What? Uh." She couldn't bring herself to ask him. He stared at her like she was a nutter.  
"Huh?" He asked, pouring in some more ingredients. Hermione shrugged. She picked up a vile of dew, and poured it in. She looked like she was concentrating on the potion, but her mind was somewhere else. * Hermione found Ron later that day during their break hour. He was outside on a bench in the courtyard, highly engrossed in his Chuddly Cannon's Picture Book. Hermione took a deep breath, and walked over.  
"Hey Ron." She said. Ron jumped, and his book went flying. It landed at Hermione's feet. She laughed and sat down beside him, handing the book back to him. He graciously took it and put it away in his nap sack.  
"Hey Herms." Ron murmured, highly embarrassed about what had just happened.  
"Ron, I need you to tell me all you know about. Well, about Harry and that girl. Remember? We were discussing it earlier today." Ron nodded, and stared off into the distance.  
"I don't really know any more about her than you do. Maybe you should just ask Harry yourself. All I know is it's some girl he met at Quidditch practice. He never really talks about her to me. Actually," Ron added thoughtfully, picking up a flower, and plucking off the petals. "He doesn't talk to me at all anymore." He had a look of disappointment on his face. He sighed.  
Hermione took the flower from Ron, and picked off the last remaining petal. Secretly, she had been playing "He loves me, he loves me not." while Ron was plucking it. She smiled as she pulled off the petal, and inside she told herself "He loves you." Ron stared at her and the flower.  
"What are you smiling about?" But Hermione ignored him, and placed the stem of a flower in her hair. She then walked off, a slight bounce in her step. Ron stared after her like she was crazy. * 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor shall I ever! -pout-  
  
She sat on her bed in the dorm, half-listening to Pansy and Bridgett's conversation about Quidditch. She was mostly thinking about Harry, and how she should ask him about the girl on the couch.  
"Hermione? Are you listening? I just asked you a question!" A stubborn voice cried out, shattering her thoughts. Hermione looked up.  
"Er, sorry, Pans. Ask me again." She smiled. Pansy shrugged and walked over to Hermione's bed, sitting down beside her.  
"I said, who do you want to go to the ball with this year?" Pansy grabbed up some of Hermione's bushy hair, and started playing with it. She began braiding a strand. Hermione bit her lip.  
"Umm don't know yet." She lied. Pansy raised an eyebrow. "You do, too. Why else would you be talking about Harry in your sleep every night?" Bridgett laughed, and Pansy let go of Hermione's hair. Hermione gasped and sat back, grabbing a pillow and holding it to her chest defensively.  
"I do not talk about him in my sleep!" She retorted, hugging the pillow tightly. Pansy giggled.  
"You do. Remember, Bridgett? What was she talking about last night?" Bridgett thought for a moment, scratching her chin.  
"Oh yeah! I remember!" She cried, hopping up, and joining Pansy and Hermione on the bed. "She was saying things like, 'Harry, why did you do this to me? How could you?' And shit like that." Hermione gasped.  
"Shut up, Bridgett! You are lying, and you know it." But secretly, her insides gave a lurch. She had to be more careful! If she spilled out any more secrets in her sleep, and especially with Bridgett and Pansy hearing them, the whole school would know!  
"Okay, okay. You shouldn't deny it though, Hermione. We know you totally have the hots for him. And we don't blame you, he is so totally sexy!" Pansy said, giggling. Bridgett laughed. "Yeah. The boy does have a nice ass." Bridgett said, making a pouty face. Hermione almost jumped on her. How could they talk about him like that? There was so much more to Harry than his looks! He was actually a pretty amazing person! She remembered all the times she had gone to Harry with problems, and cried into his broad shoulders. Hermione must have been day dreaming again, because Pansy was poking her in the arm.  
"Herms? God, we are so worried about you." She said, and her and Bridgett got up and left the dorm. Hermione sighed, and fell backwards onto her bed, still hugging her pillow tightly to her chest. *  
The next day, Hermione came face to face with her worst nightmare. She had come down the stairs ready for breakfast, and had stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes met those of Harry's, and someone else's she knew she had seen somewhere: The couch.  
"Hey, Hermione. Ready for breakfast?' Harry asked. Hermione couldn't speak; she just stared straight at the girl, her mouth open. Harry walked over and grabbed her arm. "Come on, let's go to the Great Hall. I'm famished." Hermione scowled. Since when had Harry used the word "famished'? Apparently ever since he met this girl. She told herself. 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. -sob- I wish.  
  
Hermione almost gagged. God! He was trying to impress her! She followed the two towards the Great Hall, her eyes on the girl the whole time. She was sort of pretty; Hermione had to admit. The girl had clear blue eyes, and long, straight, pearly blonde hair.   
  
Hermione "accidentally" stepped on the back of the girl's shoes while they were walking a bunch of times, only to have her turn and stare at Hermione strangely. Hermione snickered.  
  
Soon they reached the dining hall, and took their seats. Harry sat with the strange girl, and Hermione sat all by herself on the other side. Shortly, she was joined by Ron, who stopped dead when he saw Harry and the girl, then Hermione all by herself. He sat down and gave Hermione a worried look. Hermione shrugged.  
  
"Hey Ron." Harry stated, scooping some eggs onto the girl's plate. "That enough?" He asked her. She giggled and nodded. Hermione felt she was going to be sick. This was disgusting.  
  
"Hey Harry. I see you brought a friend." Ron said, elbowing Hermione in the ribs. Hermione pouted and stomped on Ron's foot under the table. Ron gave a silent intake of air. "Ouch."  
  
Harry nodded, and gave a happy glance at the girl. "Her name is Natalie. I met her at Quidditch. She's one of HufflePuff's beaters, you know." He smiled at Natalie and placed a piece of bacon lovingly on her plate. Hermione pouted, and took a glimpse of her own plate. It was pretty much clean. Ron took notice, and started piling chunks of bacon, eggs, and biscuits on it. Hermione stared at her plate.   
  
"That's enough, Ron. Thanks." Hermione stated, when she noticed that he had recently placed six biscuits on it. She sighed, and looked up at Natalie, who was rubbing Harry's leg under the table. Hermione felt tears sting at her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away.  
  
"I have to go. I forgot, I have like, a HUGE assignment in Arithmacy that I must take care of." She pushed her chair away, and got up, practically running, and knocked down a few students.   
  
Once she got outside, she collapsed in the wet grass, which was sprinkled with morning dew. She let it all out. Her tears came forth like a rushing stream, and she buried her face in her hands.  
  
"Herms, are you okay?" A voice asked suddenly. Hermione let out a cry of surprise, and looked up to see Ron standing there, a piece of toast in his hand.  
  
"Ron! Why did you follow me?" She asked, sitting up. Ron walked over and sat down beside her. He offered her the toast.  
  
"Hermione, I just want to know what has gotten into you. Why, what..why are you crying?" He asked, just now realizing that her cheeks were stained with tears. Hermione wiped them away furiously, and took the toast, reluctantly taking a small bite.  
  
"Ron, I can't tell you." She glanced at him, and saw that he was staring longingly at the piece of toast. She shrugged. "You can have it. I'm not that hungry." She handed it back over. Ron happily began to munch on it. "So." Hermione started. "Harry really likes that, that, Natalie girl."  
  
"Mmhhmm." Ron said, taking another bite.  
  
"I mean, why would he though? She is kind of fat, I think. And she is so giggly! I think she is a little too bubbly, you know? I mean why"-  
  
"You like Harry, don't you?" Ron asked suddenly, cutting Hermione off. She stared at him, not believing her ears.  
  
"No." She lied, looking away. Ron grabbed her hand. This too, surprised Hermione. This was not how Ron normally acted.  
  
"I know you do. You can't hide it, Herms. It's so obvious when you are with him. That look on your face, like-" He made a crossed eyes face with his tongue sticking out. Hermione punched him playfully on the arm. She pouted.  
  
"I do not do like that!" She insisted. Ron laughed. 


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Harry Potter? Humph. I own nothing of the sort.  
  
"You do. Come on, just tell me if you like him. I swear to God that I shall never, ever, spill your secret. Please." He gripped her hand tighter. Hermione looked into his eyes. For a brief minute, they were about three inches away from eachother's face, and Hermione thought they were going to kiss, but Ron sat back.  
  
"So? Are you going to tell me, or not?" Hermione just stared at him. This wasn't good at all. Something was wrong. Now her heart was telling her that she liked someone else. She gulped, and wiped at her tears again, still holding hands with her friend, Ron.  
  
*  
  
"Yeah, and they were all over each other on the armchair! I mean, Harry was like, grabbing at her tits, and Natalie was totally grabbing his ass!" Bridgett exclaimed to Pansy and Hermione one afternoon. All three girls were situated on their own bed in the dorm. Hermione picked up a teddy bear that Harry had gotten her for her birthday and squeezed it to her chest. She wished she had one from Ron.  
  
"Oh my god, like, I know! And Harry was practically eating her face!" Pansy interjected, bouncing up and down on her bed. She let her legs fly out from under her, and she flopped down on her bed, giggling.  
  
Hermione watched the girls with disgust. "You two, can you please stop talking about what happened this morning?" Pansy and Bridgett glanced her way, and gave her a sly look.  
  
"See? You DO like that Potter dude. Like we said, it's totally okay, I mean, like he is totally fine"-  
  
"I don't like him!" Hermione said, cutting Bridgett off, this time really meaning it. Bridgett shrugged.  
  
"Whatever." She stood up and walked to the mirror, admiring her self and checking her pants for spots. "Listen guys, I am about to go downstairs and have dinner with Fred Weasley. How do I look?" She spun around, and Pansy "oohed" and "awed".  
  
"You look fine, Bridgett." Hermione said, again truthfully. Bridgett was indeed, in truth, a very pretty girl. She just had a loud mouth, and cussed too much. Hermione looked at Bridgett's outfit: A pair of tight black jeans with slits on the side, and a long-sleeved white top with a picture of a kitten on it that said "The cat's meow." She had her wavy brown hair pulled up in a messy bun, with curls hanging down in front, framing her face. She also had on some hoop earrings.  
  
"Good. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I won't have this on for half the night anyway." Bridgett said in a low seductive voice. She winked at Hermione and Pansy. Pansy burst out in a fit of giggles.  
  
"Oh my god! You with Fred Weasley? That is so sick! He's like, so lanky and tall! Eww!" She covered her mouth, and laughed into it. Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"Have fun." Is all Hermione said, and turned and laid down on her bed, still hugging the teddy bear to her chest. How come all her friends were getting dates, while she just cried at night about how lonely she was? She sighed, and closed her eyes. Before she knew it, she was asleep.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, Hermione woke up in a surprisingly good mood. Maybe the day would go well. She hoped so.  
  
Hermione rolled out of bed, and trudged over to her trunk, where she pulled out her robes and stockings. The she dug around for the familiar Hogwart's gray vest and her black skirt. Oh, there they were. As she grabbed for them, she heard a voice that belonged to someone that was NOT supposed to be in there.  
  
"Ron!" She screamed, covering herself up and standing there in her bra. She franticly tried to hide her chest with her robe. But Ron wasn't even looking at her that way. He was staring at her through blurry eyes. A tear was now making its was down his freckled cheek. Hermione gaped at him.  
  
"Ron? Oh my god, are you okay?" She asked. Ron shook his head, and walked over to her bed, sitting down on it and placing his head in his hands. Soon his body was shaking with sobs. Hermione tugged on her vest, and walked over, taking a seat beside him. She wrapped her arms around him. Ron sniffed.  
  
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She asked, giving him a squeeze. Ron looked up. His eyes were red, and his face was extremely moist. He nodded, giving a few more sniffs.  
  
"Fred had an accident last night. He's hurt." He gave another snort and wiped his face on his sleeve. Hermione blinked, and stared at him, as if she hadn't understood what he had just said.  
  
"What? How..?" She took her arms away from Ron, and just sat, staring. Ron sighed.  
  
"He was out with some girl last night. Like, Brenda or something. And they went outside for a walk. They had gotten kind of close to the woods, and, well, they were attacked." Hermione guffawed, her mouth open and her eyes wide.  
  
"Oh my god. By what, Ron? What attacked them?" She grabbed Ron's hand, and held it up to her chest. Ron stared at his hand on her chest, and then looked up into her eyes. Both of their eyes were slightly blurry now. He swallowed hard, and squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
"By a dementor. Fred is injured horribly."  
  
"And Bridgett?" Hermione asked, letting go of Ron's hand. Ron stared at her, his voice quavered.  
  
"She was killed."  
  
* 


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry James Potter, nor Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley. -shrug-  
  
Bridgett looked very beautiful and peaceful. Her gray eyes were shut, and a bundle of roses were laid across her chest. She was in a long white dress, her hair sprawled throughout the coffin. Hermione stared at her still chest, wishing that, somehow, that maybe if she wished hard enough, it would start moving up and down. It didn't.  
  
Ron, in his best suit and tie, appeared beside Hermione and took her hand. Hermione was still looking upon her friend, that would never giggle or cuss or squeal about guys again.  
  
"It's a shame." Ron whispered hoarsely. Hermione nodded. Now with Ron here, she was afraid she would start crying. She could feel the tears in the back of her eyes. With Ron, it always made it so easy to cry.  
  
Ron wrapped his arms around her, and they embraced for a very long time. She finally broke down, and started sobbing uncontrollably into Ron's chest. He was stroking her back, and telling her it would be okay, that it would all be over soon.  
  
Soon, a presence was feltthat made them break apart. Ron and Hermione looked into the pale blue eyes of professor Dumbledore.  
  
"Bridgett and Fred Weasley brought it upon themselves." He stated, looking down onto the dead girl in the coffin. Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"What?!?" Ron asked, startling Hermione. Dumbledore looked quite surprised too.  
  
"Ron, they shouldn't have been out near the woods at nearly midnight. They know the rules. It is dangerous at that time of night. They were responsible enough to know that." Organ music began playing, signaling the start of the service. Ron gave a look to Dumbledore that one should never do, grabbed Hermione's hand, and went to take his seat.  
  
*  
  
Hermione sat on the edge of her bed, looking over at the empty one next to her. It had been Bridgett's, and the covers were still rumpled. Even a t-shirt of Bridgett's lay in a heap on the pillow. Hermione took a deep, shaky breath, and got up. She stood over the bed, lingered there for a minute, then collapsed onto the softness of the covers. She breathed in the scent of her friend, that was sure to ware away in a couple of days. It was the scent of her perfume. Hermione remembered it, as Bridgett had practically drowned her in it one evening.  
  
"Try some, Herms! You should smell nice for the dinner." Bridgett had insisted, spraying half the bottle on Hermione's neck.   
  
Hermione ran her fingers over the sheets, and felt fresh, warm tears roll off her cheeks. They splattered onto the bed slowly, like precious rain drops, washing away the last of Bridgett's spirit and putting her to rest.   
  
Hermione cried for the rest of the night. As Pansy entered the room later that day, she found herself at Hermione's side as well. Both girls embraced on the bed, comforting each other, and talked about all the good times they had all had in that dorm together. For the very last times.  
  
* 


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
The school was not as bustling and noisy as it had been a few days ago, before the death of Bridgett. Ron had taken Harry and Hermione up to the hospital wing to visit Fred. They also just wanted to escape the sounds of sobs, and they were tired of hearing people discuss what had happened.  
  
"Yeah, did you hear? How it just sucked her soul like soup?" "They had been breaking school rules." "I had heard that the dementor went for Fred first, but Bridgett tried to throw herself in his way." It was too all way too depressing.  
  
"Hey guys." Fred said, slowly sitting up, and squinting his eyes up in pain. Ron rushed to his side. Hermione handed Ron a pillow, and Ron placed the pillow gently behind Fred's back.  
  
"Thanks." Fred said, and gave a weak smile at the three friends. "I appreciate you all coming. I mean, I have been getting visits all day. But I wondered when you three would show up." Hermione smiled, and leaned over and kissed the top of Fred's head. Fred raised his eyebrow.  
  
"What was that for?" Hermione sighed.  
  
"For being so brave, and taking this all so well." Fred blushed slightly, looking a lot like his brother Ron, when his ears turn pink. Fred shrugged and took her hand.   
  
"It was the worst night of my life. I am going to be having nightmares about it until I die. But, it's something that I have to deal with." Hermione nodded. Harry soon stepped up at the hospital bed's side.  
  
"About that..do you care to go over what happened for us?" All three friends nodded.  
  
"Yeah, what exactly happened?" Ron asked, taking a seat on the bed. Fred stared at him sadly.  
  
"I'm not supposed to talk about it to anyone." He said quietly.  
  
"Okay, if you"- Hermione was cut short.  
  
"So! Who cares! Where's the brother that I know, that always takes chances?" Ron said, punching him lightly on the arm. Fred glared at him.  
  
"That brother knows now that because of his stupidity, he got someone killed. So he is being careful from now on." Fred said, folding his scarred and bruised arms. That shut Ron up.  
  
"So, how badly are you hurt?" Hermione asked, glancing nervously at Fred's hand, that had some stitches on it.  
  
"Bad enough to have to stay in here for a few more weeks. Madame Pomfrey is keeping me here until I am completely better." Fred said dully, rolling his eyes. Harry gaped at him.  
  
"That will be a loong time!"  
  
"Tell me about it. I have a broken leg, a sprained wrist, I have stitches on my right hand, and look"- He unbuttoned the top button on his hospital gown, and pulled it down, revealing a long, red gash. It was oozing something that Hermione figured was pus. Fred winced as his hand brushed it. He buttoned his shirt back up. Ron was staring open-mouthed.  
  
"Damn, Fred! How did you get THAT?" Fred shook his head.  
  
"Told you, I'm not aloud to discuss it." Ron pouted. Fred sighed and picked up a glass of water from his bedside table, and took a sip.  
  
"You guys need to go. If Madame Pomfrey catches you here... And I need my rest. But thanks again for visiting." Hermione nodded, and leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Ron cleared his throat, looking disturbingly jealous.   
  
They left Fred to sleep, and made their way back to each of their classes. Each one of their spirits was enlightened though, seeing Fred alive and talking. He wasn't dead like Bridgett was. It was nice to actually see Fred breathing and talking like it was nothing, like nothing had happened.  
  
Only the scars on his face and arms would remain, and remind every body of the tragedy. They were scars that would never go away.  
  
*  
  
"Harry, I don't know about the ball. I was kind of planning on not going." Natalie told Harry calmly that afternoon. Harry gaped at her, his expression frozen in disbelief.   
  
"What?" He croaked. He grabbed her hand, and held it to his chest. "Come on, Nat. You HAVE to go! You don't know what you are missing!" But Natalie shook her blonde head.  
  
"No, Harry. Actually, I have something to confess." Harry stared at her, and dropped her hand suddenly. Natalie looked on the verge of tears. "Harry..please. Let me explain." But Harry stood up from the couch.  
  
"No, I know what you are going to say. That this was all a mistake, right? That you never meant for any of that to happen that night. Here, on this very, fucking couch." He tossed a cushion angrily to the floor. Natalie burst out crying.  
  
"Harry! Please don't get mad! You are an awesome guy! You were a wonderful, loving boy friend. But, every thing is so crazy around here. I just need time to think. Things are happening. And the world just keeps on spinning, like every thing is fine! But it isn't!" Harry glared at her.  
  
Natalie covered her face with her hands and sobbed. This time, Harry was not going to try and comfort her. He turned and left the common room without even a good bye.  
  
* 


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
"Harry, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Hermione asked, leaning further back on the stone bench. Harry shook his head sadly. The rain fell onto their heads, and as Harry shook his head, water droplets shook from his hair. Hermione tried to take his hand, but he pulled away.  
  
"Please, just leave me alone." He whispered. Hermione felt hot tears trace her cheeks, and she blinked to try to stop them.   
  
"Harry, God. Not you too! The whole school is depressed. Everyone isn't talking, people are dying. Just talk to me. Please." Harry looked up at her, rain running down his face. Hermione knew that tears were mixed in with it. He covered his face with his hands, and bent over, shaking. Hermione cried out in desperation, and wrapped her arms around him. The two rocked back and forth for a while. As the rain began to slow down, Harry looked up, his eyes red, and his hair wet and plastered to his forehead.  
  
"I'm ready to talk." He said, sitting back up, and taking a deep, calm breath. Hermione gave a weak smile.  
  
"Good. Tell me what's wrong." Harry nodded sadly.  
  
"Natalie and me are over." He looked down at the wet grass, and stared mournfully at a brown mud puddle at the base of a tree. Hermione reached up, and with her hand, wiped away some of Harry's tears. He then looked up at Hermione, and came forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Hermione smiled and reached over and lightly caressed his face with her hand. It was a very strange moment.  
  
"Hermione, why do you care about me so much?" Harry asked, looking pitiful as Hermione kept tracing his face with her hands. She smiled.  
  
"Because you are my friend." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, as he had done a few seconds ago. Harry scooted closer and grabbed her hand, the rain coming down in soft sheets around them. He stared at her, water dripping off his dark eyelashes.  
  
"But, you should be caring about yourself right now. I mean, every thing is so crazy. There are dementors, and Bridgett died, and.." His voice broke, and he swallowed hard. Hermione squeezed his hand.  
  
"I know, but it will help so much, if we all cared about others during this time. We all need each other's help, Harry." And they hugged again, letting the rain wash their tears away.  
  
*  
  
Ron and Hermione were sitting in Potion's class near the front. Snape was giving them notes to write down, but Hermione wasn't really listening. Her mind was on something else, someone else. Ron was bent low over his paper, scribbling furiously, and trying to keep up with Snape.   
  
He looked up, and glanced at Hermione. "Why aren't you taking notes? You always take notes, Herms." Ron said, touching her arm lightly. Hermione looked surprised.  
  
"What?" She hadn't been listening. Ron just started at her. He went back to work, and Hermione sighed. What had she been thinking about again? Oh yeah. She traced her thoughts back to what she had been thinking about before Ron disrupted her. She gave a private smile. Harry.  
  
She had been remembering their scene on the courtyard bench, drenched in rain. She remembered how Harry's soft wet hair had felt, brushing her cheek as they hugged. And how, as they headed back to the common room, soaking wet, he had reached over and taken her hand.  
  
Hermione looked down at her hand now, it was resting on her paper, holding a quill, still as stone. She wished she were holding hands with Harry now. She scowled.  
  
"Shit!" She said aloud. Ron, along with the rest of the class, looked up from their notes. Snape gaped at her. Hermione quickly gasped.  
  
"I didn't mean, I'm sorry." She said quietly, highly embarrassed. Snape gave her a final glare, and turned back to his lesson. Hermione blushed and laid her head on her arms.  
  
She had cussed, because she had just realized something. Was it right in your heart to love two people at once? Hermione had realized, at that moment, that her feelings for Harry were back.  
  
* 


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I wish to own Harry Potter. Sadly, I don't! -sniff-  
  
Dumbledore faced the school, standing on the stage, looking like this sorrowful, glowing being. His silver beard and hair draped his shoulders, and he looked down on them all over his half-moon spectacles.   
  
"I have called you all here today, to announce that.." He cleared his throat, and turned to face Professor Mcgonagal. She nodded, a frown on her face, and her lips pursed. Dumbledore sighed and turned back to all the students that were waiting patiently.   
  
"To announce that there has been another attack." Gasps and shrieks echoed through the Great Hall, and a few girls began sobbing. Dumbledore took a deep breath, his great chest rising and falling.  
  
"A dementor was spotted around ten last night, near Hagrid's cabin.   
  
Argus Filch followed the trail to a student. And found that, well, he was dead." Dumbledore turned back to Professor Mcgonagal, and she was now crying.  
  
"Who was the student?" Snape asked, standing up from his chair. Dumbledore now turned his eyes to him. He frowned.  
  
"Oliver Wood."  
  
*  
  
For the rest of the day, classes had been cancelled so students could mourn the loss of the best Quidditch chaser Hogwart's ever had.  
  
Hermione shook on her bed, crying harder than she had all throughout the year. Pansy was lying beside her, hugging a pillow to her face and crying into it.  
  
"First Bridgett, now Oliver!" She screamed, her voice echoing through the tiny room. Hermione sobbed harder.  
  
"Why him? He was so nice!" She punched a pillow, and threw it to the floor. Pansy stared at her through blurry red eyes.  
  
"Hermione, why is all this happening?" Hermione stared at her like she was crazy.  
  
"Why would I fucking know?" She retorted. Pansy looked down and wiped at her face with her sleeve.  
  
"I don't know. I guess, I just want an answer to all this. Why doesn't Dumbledore do something about the dementors?" She shook a bit, and sat up to face Hermione better. Hermione shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. There's something about Dumbledore this year. He isn't himself. Have you noticed?" Pansy nodded.  
  
~flashback~  
  
Soon, a presence was feltthat made them break apart. Ron and Hermione looked into the pale blue eyes of professor Dumbledore.  
  
"Bridgett and Fred Weasley brought it upon themselves." He stated, looking down onto the dead girl in the coffin. Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"What?!?" Ron asked, startling Hermione. Dumbledore looked quite surprised too.  
  
"Ron, they shouldn't have been out near the woods at nearly midnight. They know the rules. It is dangerous at that time of night. They were responsible enough to know that." Organ music began playing, signaling the start of the service. Ron gave a look to Dumbledore that one should never do, grabbed Hermione's hand, and went to take his seat.  
  
~Flashback over~  
  
  
  
Pansy stared at Hermione. Not believing her ears. "He said that?"  
  
Hermione nodded sadly, fresh tears making their way down her already wet cheeks. Pansy gasped.  
  
"Oh my god. That is so unlike him! You're right. There's something up with our headmaster." And Hermione totally agreed.  
  
*  
  
The rest of the week had been very wet and soggy. It had rained every day since the death of Oliver and Bridgett, to match the mood every one was in. Not one smile was seen in the corridors, and there were signs plastered up saying things like, "We miss you, Bridgett Emberton and Oliver Wood." Hermione had half the mind to rip them all down. She was sick of hearing about it. Every time she came across one of the signs, she tried not to gag. 


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K Rowling does.  
  
"No homework today." Mcgonagal announced to her Transfiguration Class. The students didn't really seem to care, or take notice. Harry was especially abashed. His Quidditch team's chaser had been murdered. Not only was Oliver a great player, but also one of Harry's good friends.  
  
He had his head laid on his desk, his hair spilling over his paper. It was like dark blood coming from his face. Hermione watched him sadly. How could she ever bring up her feelings for him at times like this? He would probably just stare at her like she was mad. She was mostly scared that he didn't feel the same way about her. But how could she even tell? All he did was mope and frown. It was always the same.  
  
Harry suddenly looked up. He had a big red mark across his cheek where his head had been on his arm. Hermione gave a silent giggle. He looked so cute! He licked his lips, and yawned a bit.  
  
"Rise and shine, sleepy head." Hermione teased. Harry looked over at her. Hermione's breath caught as they locked eyes. He smiled.  
  
"How long have I been out of it?" Hermione laughed.  
  
"The whole period so far." Harry pouted.  
  
"Yeah, I am so tired. I don't really sleep at night anymore." He sat up straight, and rubbed his eyes, yawning again.  
  
"Me neither." Hermione confessed. "Mostly because, I cry too much to get some rest." Harry stared at her, his eyes looked a bit out of focus.  
  
"I do too." Hermione guffawed.   
  
"You cry at night?"  
  
"Yeah. All the time. Doesn't everyone?"  
  
"I guess so. I never pictured you..though.."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Hermione smiled at him. "Because I always see you as so strong, like you can handle anything." Harry blinked at her slowly.  
  
"Herms, this all affects me just like everyone else." Hermione sighed. Harry was so wonderful. She laughed and pulled out her pocket mirror from her bag. She handed it to him, and Harry broke out in a fit of chuckles at the big crease on his cheek. Hermione giggled with him, and the rest of the class turned and gave them strange looks.  
  
*  
  
Ron stared sadly at Harry, through big round, blue eyes. Harry stared back, with his soft, round, green eyes. They just sat there for a minute before Harry cut off the silence.  
  
"Ron, what did you want to ask me?" Ron frowned.  
  
"It's about Hermione."   
  
"Okay? Well tell me." But Ron was having a hard time finding the right words. He wasn't sure if he should be spilling her secret without her knowing.  
  
"She, uh. Well, she." He scratched his head. This would be harder than he thought. Harry gaped at him, raising his dark eyebrows. They were risen so high that they brushed the tip of Harry's thick messy bangs. Ron gulped and took a deep breath.  
  
"Hermione likes"-  
  
"Hey guys!" Said a cheerful voice. Ron and Harry turned to face one of their best friends, and who happened to be the topic of conversation.  
  
"Hey Hermione." Harry said, making room for her on the bench. She sat down between the two boys, smiling happily at each of them.  
  
Ron licked his lips and glanced at Harry, who mouthed the words "what?" But Ron shrugged and turned back to Hermione.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Ron asked her, poking her in the arm. Hermione shrugged and crossed her legs. Soon, a soft breeze drifted through the air, and ruffled Ron and Harry's hair. Hermione laughed as some curls of her's smacked Ron in the face. Ron pushed her hair out of his way.  
  
"Um, I just wanted to find you guys. We all need to talk." Ron's spirit lifted. Was she finally going to talk to Harry? He hoped so, cause he didn't want to have to be the one who let Harry know how Hermione felt.   
  
"Okay, shoot." Harry said, getting closer to her on the bench. Ron stayed where he was, watching the scene unfold in front of his eyes.  
  
"Well, I needed to talk to you about.." At this point, Ron elbowed her in the side, and cocked his head towards Harry. Hermione ignored Ron and continued. "I need to talk to you two about the ball coming up."  
  
Harry and Ron exchanged glances. Both boys gulped.  
  
"What about it?" Ron asked, glancing at Harry. Hermione smiled and took both their hands in hers. One hand in each.  
  
"Well, it's coming up pretty soon. I was wondering who you two were going to take." Ron sat back, amazed. Hermione seemed to be dealing with the situation beautifully.  
  
"Uh, well, me and Natalie aren't going together." Harry said quietly, his face suddenly relaxed, and his eyes drooped. Hermione nodded. She looked over at Ron, who mouthed the words "Now's your chance." Hermione licked her lips.  
  
The truth was, she would have loved to go with Harry. But there was one problem: She liked Ron too. And she wasn't about to come out and say it. She looked from one boy to the other, and sighed heavily.  
  
"I'm not going with anyone." Ron said to break the silence. Harry looked at him strangely.  
  
"You aren't? But, I thought you were going with Pansy." That made Hermione's stomach lurch. What? He was?   
  
"Harry, Pansy won't talk to anyone now, after her friend's death. She isn't going with anybody. Do you think she really would? You know, go and have fun, while her friend sits and rots in her grave?" Ron quickly covered his mouth. He cringed. Hermione gasped.  
  
"Ron! That was an awful thing to say."  
  
"I know." Ron sighed, taking his hand away from his mouth. "You know what? She was going to go with Fred."  
  
Hermione blinked back tears that she knew were trying to escape, like prisoners that had been locked up for a while, but were now trying to get away. She sighed and took a hold of Ron's arm, letting go of his hand. She was still holding Harry's, however.  
  
"Ron, that's so horrible." She sighed. Ron squeezed her hand tight.   
  
"I miss her, and I hate seeing Fred in so much pain." He whispered, closing his eyes tightly. Hermione knew the pain that he was feeling inside, as she had felt the exact same thing the other night, laying crumpled and crying on Bridgett's bed. The perfume smell was gone now.  
  
She couldn't hold the tears back anymore, and she let them slide down her cheeks. Ron pulled her up closer, and she laid her head on his shoulder. Harry, realizing that he was missing something special, wrapped his arms around both of them, and all three friends cried alone under the giant willow tree.   
  
* 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. And I am tired of saying that! Lol  
  
"Fred's loads better now." Ginny told Harry the next day. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "So are you feeling up to going to the ball with Hermione?" She continued, scribbling some words down on her essay. Harry stared at her, a confused expression swept across his face.  
  
"Was I supposed to?" He asked, still staring at her. Ginny suddenly gasped, and slowly looked up from her paper, finally meeting eyes with Harry. He was still looking confused. Ginny cringed.  
  
"You don't know, do you?" Harry shook his head.  
  
"What? I don't know what? Am I missing something?" He sat up straighter, still staring unblinkingly at Ron's little sister. Ginny took a deep breath, and sat her quill down.  
  
"I don't know if I should be the one to tell you." She stated, her face deepening to a shade of red. Harry raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Yes you are. Now tell me what the hell you are talking about." He grabbed her arm, and Ginny stared at him with big sad brown eyes.  
  
"You can't tell me you haven't noticed how Hermione acts around you." She whispered, her eyes on Harry's tight grip around her arm. Harry let go immediately.  
  
"I am so sorry, did I hurt you? I didn't mean.." He looked at her arm, which had a ring of red around it where his fingers had been. Ginny gulped.  
  
"I'm okay. Listen, just answer my question." Harry sighed.  
  
"No, I haven't noticed anything different about her." Ginny suddenly realized that she could fix what she had done, before she went too far. She wasn't going to be the one to spill her friend's secret. She sighed.  
  
"Never mind, Harry. It was my idea. You and Hermione going together and all, it was just a thought." Harry shrugged.  
  
"Nah. I mean, well, it IS a thought." He gave Ginny a smile, and patted her arm. Ginny breathed deeply. Phew, that had been close.  
  
*  
  
It was yet another rainy day outside. The sky was a deep shade of gray, and the ground was terribly soggy from all the rain they had been having all week. Harry and Hermione were taking a walk in the light drizzle, circling the lake. They had already been around it completely two times. As they rounded it the third time, Hermione spoke up.  
  
"Harry. There's something I have been meaning to tell you." Harry glanced at her nervously. Hadn't he already heard that somewhere? But he shrugged and kept walking, keeping his eyes on the wet grass stretched out before him. Hermione cleared her throat, and began.  
  
"Well, I have been thinking of you a lot." She stated quietly, turning her head to watch some ducks floating merrily along the bank. Harry raised his eyebrows, and took her hand. This surprised Hermione, so much that she jumped slightly. Harry lead her to the water's edge, and they sat down on the bank. Harry took his shoes off and dipped his feet in the water. Hermione did this as well. The water felt amazingly warm and foamy, warming her insides. It was quite chilly outside, but not anymore.   
  
Harry let go of her hand, and scooped up a smooth, flat stone. He skipped it across the water. Hermione watched as it finally stopped skipping, and sank. The ripples made their way to Hermione and Harry's feet. When they finally touched Hermione's foot, she spoke up again, empowered and feeling braver after seeing how beautifully the ripples made this moment.  
  
"Harry, you are..all I think about." Harry looked up, and their eyes locked for a precious minute.   
  
Hermione swallowed. Harry stared at her, then turned his gaze towards the water, where the ducks that Hermione had been watching before, were making their way over to the two friends.  
  
"Does that scare you?" Hermione asked, her voice slightly shaking. Harry had still not said anything. The ducks drifted over, as if skating across rippling glass. Suddenly, without a warning or sign, Harry grabbed Hermione's face in his hands, and pressed his lips to her's. Hermione was caught by surprise, and her pulse quickened.   
  
Soon, she began to kiss him back just as passionately, and nothing else mattered anymore. She didn't think about anyone dying, or how everyone was depressed, or how the rain was now falling harder. The world stood still. And for that precious, majestic moment, everything was perfect again.  
  
* 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
{N/a: Wasn't that last chapter magical? Lol It is one of my favorites.}  
  
Harry and Hermione hadn't told anyone about what had happened at the lake's edge for the rest of the day. They just hung out like nothing had happened, trying not to burst out into happy fits of laughter in the middle of class.   
  
Hermione kept catching Harry looking at her, and she would wink. He'd waggle his eyebrows, and she would giggle to herself.   
  
At the moment, she and Harry were situated on the couch, happily engrossed in a book together. Ron had noticed how close they were lately, and he was trying not to ask them straight out. He was giving them their time to tell him themselves.  
  
"Harry! Stop! You keep wiggling the book, and I can't read the sentences!" Hermione complained, laughing. Harry sighed playfully and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Here, you hold it." He shoved the book into her arms, but she pushed it away.   
  
"No, that's okay. I don't want to read anymore." She took the book from his hand, and sat it down on the table beside the couch. Harry gave a huff and crossed his arms.  
  
"So, what do you want to do now? We have the rest of the day to ourselves. No more classes." Hermione slowly made a smile creep across her face. Harry raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Now, Herms. What if someone walked in and saw us?" He narrowed his eyes, then glanced towards the door. Hermione looked towards the stairwell, trying to see if anyone was coming.  
  
"Okay, Harry. No body is coming." She lifted her legs up onto the couch, and started crawling towards him. She giggled. Harry scooted away and swallowed hard as she got closer.  
  
"Herms, we can't." He put his hands out in front of him, trying to make her retreat, but she managed to push them away. Hermione crawled into his arms, and started kissing his neck lovingly. Harry closed his eyes, getting the chills, but then opened them again, realizing that he couldn't do this. Not with the off chance that someone might walk in.  
  
"Hermione!" He said loudly, crawling out from under her squirming body. She sat back on the couch, staring at him, breathing hard.  
  
"Why did you stop me?" She asked, glancing at his shirt, which she had been trying to unbutton. Harry took a deep breath.  
  
"No, not right now." He stated firmly, trying to hoist himself up off the couch. Hermione frowned and got up, grabbing a hold of Harry's hands and helped pull him up as well.   
  
"Let's go do something then." Hermione said, stretching her arms. Harry turned around to look out the window. It was still raining outside, and looked quite gray. It didn't look that inviting. Hermione took notice that he was staring out the window, and she grabbed his arm.  
  
"Let's go outside!" She said excitedly, still tugging on his muscled forearm. His eyes widened.   
  
"We can't go out in that!" He said, indicating his head to the windowpane, where drizzle was pouring against it, making a pitter patter. Hermione scowled.   
  
"Sure we can! We were just out in it a few hours ago!" She insisted, letting go of his arm hopelessly. Harry stared at her. He blushed.  
  
"Oh Harry, nevermind. Let's go find Ron or something." She huffed, turning and heading to the door. Harry followed her, his feet dragging. Of course he would have loved to sit and cuddle with her on the couch, but it was too risky.   
  
*  
  
"There he is!" Hermione exclaimed, catching a glimpse of his thick red hair across the library. No body could miss the brilliance of his amber flaming head. She and Harry walked over, hand in hand. Harry suddenly realized that this was a mistake. He pulled his hand away, much to Hermione's dislike. But then she too caught on, and shrugged.  
  
"Hey." Harry said, placing a hand on Ron's shoulder. Ron looked up slowly. And as his face was finally in view, Harry and Hermione gasped in unison. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Only in my deepest dreams, then I could be the richest girl alive! -dances on her coffee table- O.o  
  
"There he is!" Hermione exclaimed, catching a glimpse of his thick red hair across the library. No body could miss the brilliance of his amber flaming head. She and Harry walked over, hand in hand. Harry suddenly realized that this was a mistake. He pulled his hand away, much to Hermione's dislike. But then she too caught on, and shrugged.  
  
"Hey." Harry said, placing a hand on Ron's shoulder. Ron looked up slowly. And as his face was finally in view, Harry and Hermione gasped in unison.  
  
"So, repeat that please." Hermione said, rubbing the sides of her head with her hands. She was developing a headache. But Harry couldn't stop staring at the deep gash on Ron's face.  
  
"Yeah, tell us again what happened." He said, a touch of concern in his voice. Ron sighed, and cleared his throat.  
  
"It was a dementor. I was taking a walk in the rain, looking for you two, and, it saw me. It attacked me." Ron groaned as Hermione reached over with a damp cloth, and dabbed at his injury.   
  
"God, that stings!" He said through clenched teeth. Harry watched hopelessly, knowing that there was nothing he could do to help his friend.  
  
"I can't help it Ron. Stay, still." She said, struggling to have a go with the cloth again. But Ron pulled away, and she sighed and gave up, sitting back on the chair.  
  
"Why didn't you go see the nurse?" Harry asked, sitting back as well. Ron shrugged.  
  
"It didn't seem like such a big deal. I wasn't hurt badly or anything. Not as bad as Fred or..or Bridgett." He said sadly, his voice trailing off. Harry nodded in understandment, but Hermione was not amused.  
  
"It doesn't matter, Ron! This is serious! You should've went to see Madame Pomfrey right away!" She sat the cloth back down, and inched forward, her face right in Ron's, as she struggled to get a closer look at Ron's gash. Ron sighed and pulled back.  
  
"Look, Fred is in much more danger than me. Did you know that dementor's come back to get people that hey didn't get to finish off?" Harry and Hermione exchanged worried glances.  
  
"They do?" Harry asked, fear in his voice.  
  
"Yeah," Ron told them matter-of-factly. "That's why I was in the library. I was researching about them, to see how bad or fatal the cut was. And I came across that bit of information." Ron bit his lip. "I am so scared for Fred. I don't know if Professor Dumbledore realizes it or not, but Fred has to be warned." He looked down at the floor.   
  
Hermione thought back to all the times Dumbledore had reacted strangely to situations. What would he do if he knew about Fred needing protecting? Hermione shivered. Would he even care?  
  
*  
  
"This is serious, Harry! Ron doesn't even realize that since HE was attacked, he will get hunted down by dementors too!" Hermione cried out helplessly, flopping down onto the armchair in Harry's arms.  
  
"I know. He keeps talking about how much trouble Fred is in. He cares too much. He is in just as much trouble." Harry said, stroking Hermione's hair. The two sat in silence, embraced on the tiny armchair, Hermione in his lap.  
  
"Shit, Harry! Why does life fucking suck so much right now?" She whispered, staring up into his icy green eyes. He glared down at her.  
  
"Since when do you cuss?"  
  
"Since my friends have recently been getting into mortal danger." She answered, mostly as a nasty remark. Harry gulped.  
  
"Hermione, calm down. We'll get it all sorted out. But for now"- He took his hand and caressed her cheek. "We should clear our minds of all these bad thoughts, and take a breather." She nodded, and crawled up into his arms ever more, pressing her face up against his chest.  
  
She felt tears sting at her eyes, as she listened to the faint "buh-dum" of her friend's heart. It was like the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. She hoped that, unlike Bridgett's, this song would play forever. The soft beating lulled her to sleep, and soon, Harry was out as well.  
  
* 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to a certain sexy Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, or a sexy Tom Felton. Too bad, huh? I want them all for Christmas! Muah ha! -laughs evily-  
  
"Potter and Granger?" A loud voice shook them awake. "I never thought I'd see the day, when Potter and Granger slept together." Harry blinked several times, trying to get his eyes into focus. A blurry figure stood before him. As soon as it all came together, he gave a nasty look to who he saw standing before him. Malfoy.  
  
"Shut up, Malfoy. We weren't sleeping together." Harry mumbled. Draco peered down at the couple, happily cuddled together in the armchair. He jeered.  
  
"So, you call that not sleeping?" Draco retorted, pulling back his bottom lip. Harry glared at him.  
  
"Well, yeah, we were sleeping. But we weren't fucking or anything." Harry insisted. "Wait, what the hell? Why are you in here, anyway? This is the Gryfinddor common room." He asked, grumpily trying to sit up with Hermione so comfortably asleep. Malfoy shrugged.  
  
" I was sent by the headmaster. Dumbledore sent me to get this." He held up something long and gleaming. Harry almost jumped up, knocking Hermione out of the chair when he realized what it was.  
  
"Give me back my broom, Malfoy!" Harry yelled. Hermione's eyes fluttered open, and she blinked, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
"Harry?" She asked, struggling to sit up.  
  
"Looks like your whore has decided to join us." Draco spat out. Harry's insides burned with fury.  
  
"Get up, Herms." Harry said, gently moving her aside. He then jumped up to face Draco.  
  
"She's not my whore!" Harry shouted. All the commotion was bringing students down the stairwell to see what was going on. Ron stumbled down first, and stopped on the last step, frozen in shock, or either too tired to move.  
  
"Harry? What's happening?" He said sleepily, covering his mouth in a yawn. Harry just stared back.   
  
"Your friend Harry, here, was on the couch sleeping with Hermione Granger." Malfoy answered for Harry. Ron looked taken aback.  
  
"What?" He said, almost falling off the step. Harry shook his head in fury, his whole body shaking out of anger. He had his hands clenched up into fists at his sides.  
  
"Ron, don't listen to him." Harry said, turning back to Malfoy. "And why the fuck did Dumbledore send you to get my Fire Bolt?" He demanded. Malfoy smiled evilly, and gripped the broom handle tighter.  
  
"I have no clue, but he sure is helping me out." Harry scowled, ready to blow at any minute.  
  
"The fuck, he sent you! You know very well you are lying, Malfoy!" Harry roared, his whole face turning purple. He suddenly leapt out at Draco, but something came between him and Malfoy, and got punched instead: Hermione.  
  
*  
  
"I didn't mean for it! I swear!" Harry assured Dumbledore, who had called him into his office later that afternoon. Hermione had been sent to the hospital wing, and was being taken care of. Dumbledore stared at Harry with a look he had never seen before. Harry guffawed.  
  
"Harry, we all know you were angry with Draco, but you had absolutely no right to take it out on Ms.Granger." Harry stared at him like he had not heard him correctly.  
  
"What?" He spat out, narrowing his eyes. He would never do that to Hermione! Never! What the hell was Dumbledore playing at?  
  
"Harry, I had sent Mr.Malfoy into the common room to retrieve something of yours, that I needed brought to my office." He laced his fingers together, and stared at Harry over his half moon spectacles.  
  
Harry looked around the office. Sure enough, propped up in one of the corners behind Dumbledore's desk, was his Fire Bolt, one of Harry's most prized possessions. He stared at it a while in shock, before he brought himself to look back into the headmaster's pale eyes.  
  
"Why did you need my broom?" Harry asked, trying so hard not to raise his voice. It was so hard. He felt like screaming, and giving someone a good hard punch in the gut. Harry had never dreamed of it before in his life, but at this moment, he had the urge to do exactly that to Dumbledore.  
  
"My young Harry. I have my reasons."  
  
"But!" Harry could hardly believe his ears. He blinked, and opened his eyes to make sure that it was Dumbledore that he was talking to, someone that used to be his favorite elderly person in the world. Yes, it was no dream, it was indeed Dumbledore. "There's a game next Tuesday!" Harry cried out.   
  
"Yes, I am aware of that." Dumbledore said calmly, still studying Harry. Harry gaped at him, anger swelling in every fiber of his sixteen year old body.  
  
"Then why the fu...I mean, then why in the world did you do this?" Harry stammered. He hoped he would not cry. Dumbledore had not moved a muscle, or hardly even blinked, the whole time they had sat here.  
  
"I told you, Mr.Potter. I have my reasons. Now please, this is enough. Please head back to class." He unlaced his fingers, and lifter up his hands to adjust his spectacles.   
  
"But, Hermione! I have to visit her in the hospital and explain what happened! This is all a mistake! I didn't mean for Hermione to-" Harry cried.  
  
"To your class, Mr.Potter." Dumbledore ordered firmly.   
  
*  
  
{N/A: Tee hee. What is going on with the Professor? I'll make you suffer. Muah ha! You aren't going to find out til later! Oh, and please review!} 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just make up my own fantasies about it. -giggle-  
  
Ron and Harry sat closely together on the first row in their Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. They were whispering quietly so no one could hear them, but Harry had the dreaded feeling that one person could: Moody.  
  
Harry kept catching Moody's magical eye rolling around to face them. He wondered if Moody had something of a magical ear, too.  
  
"I'm telling you Ron, Dumbledore is pretty fucked up. I mean, he didn't even let me tell MY side of the story! He just sent me back to class and kept my broom!" He clenched his jaw, remembering how angry with the headmaster he had been. Ron scowled.  
  
"That is so unlike him. I still can't believe how he is acting!" Ron whispered, leaning in further. "And, I wanted to talk to you about something else." He lowered his voice even lower. Harry stared at him.  
  
"What?" Ron sighed.  
  
"What is it with you and Hermione? Is what Draco said about you and her true?" Harry blushed.  
  
"No, Ron. I mean, we had been resting on the armchair together, but we hadn't, well, you know." Ron shrugged.  
  
"So what does that mean? Are you and Hermione dating?" Harry had to think a minute on that one. Were they? He wasn't even sure what was going on.  
  
"Er, I don't know. Maybe?" Harry answered, only to cause Ron to stare back at him strangely.  
  
"How can you not be sure?" He asked. Harry sighed, shaking his head. Ron turned back to work on his notes, signaling the end of the conversation.  
  
*  
  
Hermione lay in a silky white gown on the hospital sheets. A shard of sunlight was pouring onto her face from the bedside window, causing her to look very much like an angel. Harry stared at her a minute longer, before finally making his way over and taking a seat on a chair at her side.  
  
She fluttered her eyes open, and the soft chocolate brown locked onto Harry's sad green. She smiled warmly, and held out her hand. Harry reached out and entwined his fingers in hers, never wanting to let go again. Hermione stared at him, the sunlight still falling across her face. Harry spoke up, his voice low.  
  
"I promise, Hermione. I never meant to hit you, I was aiming for"-  
  
"Malfoy, I know. It's my fault though, Harry. I tried to stop you, I tried to get in the way purposely." She insisted. Harry scooted his chair up to her bed, and pressed her hand to his chest. He closed his eyes.  
  
"I hope throughout my whole life, I never hurt you intentionally." He whispered. Hermione breathed in softly.  
  
"Harry, I know you won't. And I know that you didn't mean to hurt me this time, either." Harry felt something warm on his cheeks. He wiped them away as he realized that they were his tears. Hermione smiled at him.  
  
"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Don't, please. It's hurts more seeing you cry, than having these stitches in my side." She assured him.  
  
"It's just, I love you so much." Harry said softly. He leaned over her bed, and gently kissed her lips. He sat back, and Hermione stared at him, her eyes becoming blurry.  
  
"I love you too, Harry." And with that, she sat up, as painful as it was, and leaned over and returned the kiss.  
  
* 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER.  
  
All different kinds of emotions drifted through Hogwart's corridors like ghosts. There were the love, the sorrow, the pain, the anger, the betrayal. And all Hermione wanted to do was block all of them from getting into her heart. They literally ate away at her, leaving her crushed.  
  
She still lay in her bed, and she was giving very dry sobs. She had cried ever since Harry had left, because she hadn't wanted him to see her cry when he was there. She was trying to be strong for him, knowing that he couldn't take up the responsibility of being the brave one all the time.  
  
Hermione rolled over and pressed her moist face up against her pillow. It was getting darker outside.   
  
How at this minute, she longed to feel his soft dark hair pressed up against her cheek. Or how she longed to gaze into his sparkling green eyes. Or even how she died to be embraced in his strong, loving arms. The one place she felt totally and completely safe.  
  
The crickets began chirping outside softly. Hermione listened for a while, no longer bathed in light, but drowned in darkness.  
  
Why was everything so hard right now? Bridgett and Oliver were dead, Fred and Ron were in mortal danger, and she knew Harry was having the hardest time of them all.  
  
She began to cry for him, now. Every tear drop represented his screaming sorrow. Hermione so wanted to just make everything all right for Harry, to make all his pain melt away. She wanted it all to be all perfect again. She thought back to how everything had momentarily been all right again, when she was with harry a few days ago.  
  
Flashback  
  
Harry let go of her hand, and scooped up a smooth, flat stone. He skipped it across the water. Hermione watched as it finally stopped skipping, and sank. The ripples made their way to Hermione and Harry's feet. When they finally touched Hermione's foot, she spoke up again, empowered and feeling braver after seeing how beautifully the ripples made this moment.  
  
"Harry, you are..all I think about." Harry looked up, and their eyes locked for a precious minute.   
  
Hermione swallowed. Harry stared at her, then turned his gaze towards the water, where the ducks that Hermione had been watching before, were making their way over to the two friends.  
  
"Does that scare you?" Hermione asked, her voice slightly shaking. Harry had still not said anything. The ducks drifted over, as if skating across rippling glass. Suddenly, without a warning or sign, Harry grabbed Hermione's face in his hands, and pressed his lips to her's. Hermione was caught by surprise, and her pulse quickened.   
  
Soon, she began to kiss him back just as passionately, and nothing else mattered anymore. She didn't think about anyone dying, or how everyone was depressed, or how the rain was now falling harder. The world stood still. And for that precious, majestic moment, everything was perfect again.  
  
Flashback Over  
  
She lay there a while longer, her sobbing eventually getting drowned out by the ever growing cricket lullaby.  
  
*  
  
{N/a: I hope you are liking the story so far. Sorry about how the paragraphs get all messed up and not indented and junk. Ignore it, when I upload chapters, it does that. Sorry. Thank you to my reviewers!} 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Disclaimer: I own all of Harry Potter! I own all the characters, the stories, I even own J.K Rowling! Lol just kidding, silly heads. O_o  
  
"You're free to go, Ms.Granger." Madame Pomfrey scooped up the sheets from Hermione's bed. She dropped them into a basket, along with some other sheets and pillowcases. It was all waiting to be washed.  
  
"I am? I mean, I don't need to stay any longer?" She asked happily, sitting up. Madame Pomfrey smiled at her.  
  
"Dear, you're fine, and you don't need any more tending to." Hermione almost felt like cheering.  
  
"Yes! Thank you!" She chirped. Hermione waited until Madame Pomfrey left, to gather her robe and change. God, how wonderful it felt to be out of that scratchy hospital gown. She tugged on her vest over her white collared shirt, slipped on her robes, and was all set.  
  
Hermione practically skipped down the stairs to the Great Hall. As she swung open the heavy oak doors, she spotted Harry sitting with Ron at the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Harry, Ron!" She cried out, skirting to a stop at their sides. Harry almost choked on his orange juice.  
  
"Herm-, Hermione?" He sputtered, looking up. Ron laughed.  
  
"Hermione! So good to see you out of there!" He said, standing up and giving her a quick hug. Hermione blushed at Ron, and took her seat beside Harry, who hesitated at first, but eventually leaned over and kissed her lovingly on the cheek.  
  
"Harry, is everthing all right?" Hermione asked, scooping some jelly onto her toast, not looking up. Harry stared at her.  
  
"Everything is fine, Herms. I just still feel sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have been trying to get in a fight with Malfoy anyway." He slumped in his chair a bit. Hermione took a bite out of her jelly toast and looked up, still chewing.  
  
"Harry, you couldn't just let him take your broom like that! You did what any normal boy would do." She patted his arm, and sat her toast down. Harry smiled at her.  
  
"I love you. I want to be with you at all times now that you are out of that place. I missed you so much." He was still smiling. Ron sighed and rolled his eyes at all the mushiness of it all.  
  
"I missed you too. You wouldn't believe how boring it is in there by myself! God, and think of how much make up work I have to do!" She cringed, and placed her chin in her hand, her elbow on the table. Ron sighed.  
  
"Hermione!" He began to laugh. "You were only in there for a few days, maybe a week."  
  
"I don't care, Ron. I still say I missed loads of work." She then turned to Harry. "I want to do something with you after we are done eating. I haven't been with you in a while." Harry nodded sadly.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Well, hurry up and eat, and we can chill some."  
  
*  
  
"Christmas is coming up soon, Harry." Hermione stated, leaning into his chest. The two were on the grass by the lake. Harry ran his fingers through her curly hair.  
  
"Yup. The year is really flying." Hermione smiled. He could feel her cheeks rise against him, and he knew she was smiling.  
  
"But guess what else Christmas time means." She said, running her hands along his arm. He shrugged, and leaned back some more.  
  
"I don't know. Amuse me." He said, chuckling.  
  
"Harry! It means the Yule Ball is getting closer, too! They have it on Christmas Eve!" She playfully hit his arm. "I can't believe you forgot about the ball." She nuzzled her face into his soft cotton shirt.   
  
"Well, as you know, thing shave been really crazy lately, and I haven't really had time to think about things like that." He answered, poking her in the side. Hermione scowled.  
  
"I know. But at-least you can think about it now." She finally sat up away from him, and stretched her legs out. They had been sitting for a while, now. She yawned deeply, beginning to stand up.  
  
"Wait, don't go." Harry said quickly, jumping up as well.  
  
"Why not? We need to get back to the school."  
  
"I wanted to spend more time with you." He insisted, gently taking a hold of her arm. She stared him hard in the eyes.  
  
"I know what you wanted to do, here with nobody around but us. Well, too bad Harry"- She kept going, not taking notice of the shocked expression he was making. "Because I want to save that for a special night. I want it to be perfect." Harry gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing.  
  
"Herms! I didn't, I would never! That didn't even cross my mind! Honest!" He held her arm tighter. She shrugged.  
  
"Okay, I just wanted you to understand though, so you will know for the future." She gathered up her robe and knapsack, and started walking back towards the school. Harry stared after her. That had been a weird moment. Why did Hermione think that he would want that? He realized that actually, him and her having sex hardly EVER crossed his mind.  
  
*  
  
{N/a. Phew, all those chapters took a loooong time to upload, but I am finally caught up, and am currently working on the next chapter. It should be up soon. Review, review! -pokes in the arm- } 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Disclaimer: I do not own that sexy beast Harry Potter. I do not own that sexy beast Harry Potter. [writes on blackboard a million times]  
  
"Come along Harry, Quidditch practice!" Ron chirped, skidding to a stop before Harry, who was sitting on the couch. Harry looked up, bored.  
  
"I'm not going." Ron gaped at him, eyes wide.  
  
"But Harry! It's Quidditch! The only fun thing to do at Hogwart's! Why aren't you going?"  
  
"I can't, Ron. Dumbledore took my broom away." Harry stated, his eyes dropping back to his feet. Ron gasped.  
  
"The headmaster took your broom away?" Harry nodded.  
  
"I thought you knew."  
  
"No! That bloody bastard! Why would he do such a thing?" Ron stammered, starting to pace back and forth in the common room. Harry shrugged.  
  
"He hasn't been himself lately. There is definitely something up with him." Harry sat up straighter, his eyes following Ron. His pupils moved back and forth, staring at Ron's feet.  
  
"But, this doesn't make sense! You're the best Quidditch player we have! Why would he just take your broom away?"  
  
"I don't know, Ron. I wish I did. Do you think..." Harry stopped himself from finishing.  
  
"What?" Ron looked up, now standing still in front of Harry. Harry sighed, and shook his head.  
  
"Nevermind." But Ron sat down on the couch beside him.  
  
"No, tell me. Please." Ron took Harry's arm. Harry, feeling quite odd, shook his arm away.  
  
"My god, Ron! No need to turn all fruity and girly on me!" He shouted. Ron gulped, blushing.  
  
"Sorry. Just tell me what you were going to say." Harry pondered for a moment, as if he were choosing the perfect words. Finally he cleared his throat.  
  
"Do you suppose Dumbledore has something to do with all these deaths?" Ron stared straight head, his mouth shut tightly.  
  
"I don't know. But Harry, that's an awful thing to say! You shouldn't even be thinking things like that!"  
  
"It was just a thought." Harry said quietly. Yes, it was true that things of that nature should never be said about Dumbledore. But that was the old headmaster. The new Dumbledore, well, now circumstances were different.  
  
*  
  
"I don't feel right about all this." Hermione stated loudly to Pansy. The two girls were in their dorm. They now had the dorm all to themselves, because of Bridgett's death. Pansy looked up from painting her nails.  
  
"About what, Herms?" She looked back down, and continued to paint her nails black. Hermione had noticed how Pansy had recently just started wearing black polish, and heavy eyeliner. She had even started wearing black clothing.  
  
"About Harry." Hermione whispered, almost too low for Pansy to hear. Pansy looked up again.  
  
"Did you just say Harry?" Hermione nodded.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"Honestly, do you listen? I don't feel right about him!" Pansy sat the polish bottle down.   
  
"I don't understand." Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"The way the world is right now, it just doesn't seem right, you know. I don't think I should date Harry anymore. Pansy gasped, almost knocking the bottle over on the bedspread.  
  
"Hermione! Don't let things get to you! It will all be over soon. Don't break up with him."  
  
"But it hardly feels as if we're going out." Hermione whispered, ever more quietly. Pansy sighed.  
  
"Herms, do what you feel you need to do. I can't stop you, or make decisions for you. All I know is, you would be so much happier if you stayed with him. It's good to have a guy's shoulder to cry into, at times like this." She then picked up the nail polish brush, and started sweeping the inky black polish across her nails. Hermione laid down, her face staring straight ahead at the ceiling.  
  
"But I could do that before." Hermione thought to herself. She knew that they didn't have to be going out, for her to be able to cry on his shoulder.  
  
*  
  
  
  
  
  
{N/A: Sorry guys. I won't be able to update for a week. My mom is going out of town and all, so ..yeah. But I get to stay with my friends! Hoorah! -boogies- But I promise, as soon as all this craziness is over, I shall write you all a big, long, juicy, interesting chapter. Just for you guys!..Julie} 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
A/N: Sorry, I don't have time to write a reply or thank you to every single one of my reviewers, but I thank you all. You are the reason for writing. If it weren't for all my reviewers, this story would just be sitting on my desktop, saved in Microsoft Word, getting dustier and forgotten. I love you all!  
  
Oh, and this won't be as long as I promised, but it will definitely be juicy.  
  
*  
  
Ron could tell that when Hermione was starting to avoid Harry, and when she didn't sit with him at dinner, that something wasn't right. He approached her carefully that night. Hermione was sitting on a bench outside in the blackness of night, her face in her hands, and her body slightly shaking. As soon as she felt a presence, she looked up, her eyes dark and wet.  
  
"Hermione." Ron said quietly, standing as still as he could. He dared to move a muscle. Hermione just stared at him.  
  
"Ron, sit down." She whispered, placing her face back into her hands. Ron, knowing now that he could come closer, sat down beside her on the bench, fire flies hanging in the shadowy space all around them.   
  
"Ron, I don't want to live anymore." Hermione said ever so quietly, her face still in her hands. Ron's stomach gave a lurch.  
  
"Why say such a thing, Herms? You have your whole life ahead of you! You are so full of energy and love!" Ron was almost hyperventilating. Hermione still sat with her head in her hands.  
  
"What's the point? There's no one around anymore to share life with." She sighed, her chest moving in and out. Ron narrowed his eyes.  
  
"What about Harry?" At that, Hermione looked up; her eyes just as damp and dark as before.  
  
"Not anymore."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I broke up with him."  
  
*  
  
There was so much anger swelling inside him, and he   
  
Couldn't-  
  
Take-  
  
It-  
  
Anymore.  
  
Harry was standing near his window, leaning out ever so dangerously, sheets of rain pouring in and slapping him hard across his face. How could Hermione do this to him? At a time like this? He had loved her. She had been someone to confide in, to take comfort in.   
  
Harry clenched his jaw, his heart ripping and searing with pain. He felt like screaming, screaming so the world could hear. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out except a loud cry of frustration.  
  
With his hands gripping the window's edge, he leaned outwards, his face staring down towards the blackness of the ground. He couldn't really make out where the ground was, but he knew it would be a long fall.   
  
All that had gone on these past few weeks, all that had caused him pain. All his grief, all his torture, all his emotions, they all clawed and slashed at his chest. And the rain was starting to make his face numb. He hoped that the rest of his body would turn numb before he hit the ground.  
  
With one last cry of agony, Harry let himself fall forward, and the world seemed to stop. For that split second, falling through eternal blackness, Harry felt alive, and he changed his mind.   
  
It was too late.  
  
*  
  
[A/N: Sorry to leave you all hanging like this. One of my first real clif-hangers! I will only write the next chapter if I get atleast five reviews. You all know you can do it! Hit that button and type! Go!...Julie] 


	20. Chapter Twenty Author's Note

This is just an author's note. Sorry to you all who were expecting or hoping for the next chapter. About the story:  
  
A/N: Time to clear some things up, as my fic gets more and more popular like I never thought it would. First off: I know all the Pansy scenes are whacked out. Yes, she IS a Slytherin, and she shouldn't be sharing a dorm room with Hermione, as Hermione is a Gryfinddor. This is just a mistake I made back when I was first writing this fic, and I have been too lazy ever since to fix it. We will all just have to live with it for the time being.  
  
Another thing: I am NOT trying to promote suicide, nor am I clinically depressed. I just write sad stories. I have done a few things in the past which I shall not name, but that's past the point. Please, no one commit suicide, and if this happens, I hope it is nothing I have written to help you make this decision.  
  
Also: I don't mind if you flame at me. I actually deserve it sometimes. If you are having a bad day, go ahead! Vent out on ME! Lol I really don't mind. I think any review is a good one. You should see me hyper-spazzing when I check my emails, and I get like one measly review. So please review, that is all I ask. Please! I love hearing what people think of my fics.  
  
Some things that MIGHT happen in the future of this fic: These are things I have just been pondering on. Review and tell me what YOU think.   
  
*Hermione getting together with Ron.  
  
*Christmas holidays  
  
*I am still not totally sure what is wrong w/ Dumbly, so you shall have to help me on that.  
  
*Pansy turning into a Goth. (there is already a chapter indicating that.)  
  
*Some main characters dying. More of em! More! I know Oliver and Bridgett, but there should be more murders by Dementors.  
  
So sorry I don't ever write more than one chapter every week. I just have a busy life: Ballet, jazz, drama, homework, basically just your normal high-schooler's life. I promise I will try to work on it more often.  
  
And to my fans: (If I really have some) Thank you so much, and thanks for the support. You don't know how it makes my chest swell when I see the words "Omg", "Great", "Funny", "Write more" and "Liked it" on reviews. Keep up the good work, and keep my chest swelling to its fullest!  
  
+ With lots of love and luck, Julie. + 


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Disclaimer: I do not won Harry Potter.   
  
[Thanks to emmy-bone-cat. Yes, my name is Julie, and I'm glad you like the story. Also thanks to o Hell o Kitty o. Yeah, she does have a mind like that at times. Glad you like the story. Thanks to: daleia. I know about the Pansy thing. We'll just hav eto live with that. Lol. And last but not least, thanks to hilde. That was one of the best reviews I ever had. Thanks for the support. I'm sorry about the Harry thing. You will just have to wait and see what happens. Love ya!]  
  
Teenagers go through this stage in life where they wonder what their purpose is in life. I mean, we ARE just kids, after all. What good are we to the economy, the political stuff? We just take up space on sidewalks. Yes, at this moment there isn't much we can do.  
  
But kids grow up. They grow up to be president, doctors, famous authors, kings, and police officers. But even the smallest jobs mean something. So what if you are just a plumber? Or so what if you are just a gardener?  
  
Someone might need you so they can win the Best Looking Rose Garden award. Someone out there will need you in the future. It might not look that way now. But there will come a day.  
  
So don't think you are not important. Don't just throw your life away like it's the morning paper.   
  
*  
  
Hermione was pulling her hair out with her bare hands. Literally. She was crumpled in a heap on the floor, crying, rocking back and forth, and yanking her hair so hard that her scalp was bleeding.  
  
"Hermione, stop it." Ron ordered, his voice not quite as strong and loud as he hoped it would sound. Hermione let out a scream and pulled more chunks of hair out, flinging them aside.  
  
Ron knelt down beside her, his hands shaking as he tried to pull her hands away from her hair. She wouldn't let go.  
  
"Hermione, what's wrong? Stop this, please!" His voice cracked away, and he gulped hard to keep from crying.  
  
She screamed again, her whole body shaking, and pushed him away so hard that he toppled over. Ron sat there a minute, confused and hurt, and closed his eyes, hoping that all this would go away.  
  
But when he opened them again, she was still there. The chunks missing from her brown curly hair, the claw marks on her face, the bleeding cuts on her wrists.   
  
Ron had come earlier that day when he had heard from Pansy that Hermione was trying to kill herself.   
  
"I can't make her put the razor down! She isn't stopping! Ron please, you have to talk to her!" Pansy had cried, grabbing at Ron's sleeve.   
  
He had arrived just in time that morning. She was on the floor, gripping the razor tight in her hands, so tight. So tight that her knuckles were white like milk.   
  
Ron had grabbed the razor away with such force that had even surprised him. Now they were on the floor together, and he was trying to get Hermione to calm down.   
  
"Why did you do it, Herms? What's wrong?" He asked pleadingly, his voice weak and shaking. Hermione continued to groan and rock back and forth on her knees, not really acknowledging Ron's presence.   
  
Ron made sure the razor was hidden away good in the mattress of her bed beside him where he had stuck it earlier, and he crawled closer.  
  
"Just tell me why you even thought about doing something like this."  
  
Just as he said that, Pansy walked in the dorm room, her eyes were red from having been crying downstairs. Ron had told her to stay downstairs until things got straightened out.  
  
"Oh, thank God! You stopped her!" Pansy cried out, and rushed forward to Hermione. But Ron stuck his arm out to stop her.  
  
"No, stay back. She isn't talking." Pansy stared at her friend, and gave up, sitting down in the floor beside Ron.  
  
"She did it as soon as she found out." Pansy whispered, now staring at the chunks of brown hair in the floor at Hermione's side. Ron narrowed his eyes, as Hermione began to cry louder.  
  
"Found out?" Pansy nodded sadly.  
  
"As soon as she found out that Harry killed himself."  
  
*  
  
[A/N: I was almost crying as I wrote this. This is one of the saddest chapters. Please review.] 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Where I left you off at: (Sorry I haven't written for the longest time!)  
  
Ron made sure the razor was hidden away good in the mattress of her bed beside him where he had stuck it earlier, and he crawled closer.  
  
"Just tell me why you even thought about doing something like this."  
  
Just as he said that, Pansy walked in the dorm room, her eyes were red from having been crying downstairs. Ron had told her to stay down until things got straightened out.  
  
"Oh, thank God! You stopped her!" Pansy cried out, and rushed forward to Hermione. But Ron stuck his arm out to stop her.  
  
"No, stay back. She isn't talking." Pansy stared at her friend, and gave up, sitting down in the floor beside Ron.  
  
"She did it as soon as she found out." Pansy whispered, now staring at the chunks of brown hair in the floor at Hermione's side. Ron narrowed his eyes, as Hermione began to cry louder.  
  
"Found out?" Pansy nodded sadly.  
  
"As soon as she found out that Harry killed himself."  
  
*  
  
Ron's stomach jolted, and his breath caught painfully. For the longest time, he couldn't breathe, and he began gasping for air. Pansy screamed and started shaking him.  
  
"Ron! What's wrong? Oh my god! Oh my god!" Ron kept choking and gasping hard for air. Hermione finally spoke up for the first time.  
  
"He didn't know about Harry." She whispered, a creepy drone in her voice. Pansy's eyes widened.  
  
"Shit, Ron! Breathe! Please! Oh my god!" She broke down and started crying. And Hermione began rocking back and forth and pulling at her hair again.   
  
Ron's face was starting to turn blue. He jammed his hand inside the mattress and began feeling around violently. Pansy watched him, still crying and shaking her head.  
  
Finally his hand emerged holding the razor, and Pansy let out a loud cry when she knew what he was trying to do.   
  
He brought it down on his forearm, too quick for Pansy to react, and dug it in. Hermione screamed.  
  
* 


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Ron had been rushed to Saint Mungo's immediately. Hermione sat at his side, where he was laying on the hospital bed. Hermione had several bald spots on her head, and claw marks on her face, but it wasn't nearly as bad as Ron's injuries.  
  
She stared at the long, deep, bloody gashes on his arms and wrists, and her eyes misted over. She found it almost impossible that he hadn't died. It was a miracle. He had lost a dangerous amount of blood.  
  
"Ron, I know I should have told you, about what happened." Hermione took his cold, pasty white hand. "But I was going through the pain at that moment, and I didn't want to talk to anyone, or see anyone. I can understand why you cut your wrists. It was my idea in the first place. It's my fault! I shouldn't, I really shouldn't have had the razor! Then you wouldn't have been able to do this to yourself!" Hermione's voice cracked, and she looked away. Ron said nothing.  
  
"Why did Harry do this? Well, I can answer that. That was my fault, too! I made things rougher for him, all because I was selfish and dumped him. I should have known better than to let him go, at a time like this!" She looked back towards Ron, who now had a single tear making its way down his cheek. She squeezed his hand.  
  
"I know you miss Harry. Everyone does. If I could just fucking go back in time! I wouldn't dump him! I, wouldn't do that to him"- And she broke down and began crying. Ron stared at her.  
  
"It's not your fault." Hermione looked up. Ron had finally spoken, and he was looking right at her. She swallowed.  
  
"You just don't know."   
  
"Yes I do. Harry didn't do this because of you. It was bound to happen sooner or later! You should've seen the things he would write. God! How he would write! He'd scribble in this little notebook thing of his. I looked through it the other night, and some of the things he would write in there. How they would make my bones chill over." Hermione narrowed her eyes.  
  
"You mean you sort of knew all along, and you never told me?'  
  
"I didn't know! There were just, clues! And I didn't want to worry you about anything else, and make everything worse!" Ron stammered, sitting up painfully. Hermione shook her head.  
  
"Why is this happening? Harry can't be known anymore as 'The Boy Who Lived'! Now he'll just be known for committing suicide of a balcony window." Her head hung low, and Ron sighed.  
  
"Yeah. Can you believe you and me almost did something that stupid too?" Hermione stared at him.  
  
"I know, it was so close. I miss him. I wish he would've changed his mind at the last second." Little did they know, he had.  
  
*  
  
[A/N: How was that? So what does that mean? Harry is actually alive? You'll just have to wait and see! Cliffhanger!] 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.   
  
A/N: Sorry I haven't written anything to this story for a looong time. But as you can see, I've been really busy since then. I think I've written like eight stories since I last ended the last chapter. I'm such a procrastinator! Lol Oh well. But here you go! I know you've been waiting forever, so here it is! Shattered, chapter twenty four!..Julie  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Harry woke up with a blinding headache.  
  
He blinked hard and took a sharp breath, surveying his surroundings. Why did his neck hurt so bad? Why couldn't he move?  
  
Harry tried to move his fingers, his arm, anything. But it was like he was..paralyzed.  
  
Soon he realized where he was. He could only see straight ahead, but the glowing white ceiling seemed so familiar.  
  
"'Arry? Oh god, are yer all right?" Harry stiffened at the warm, deep voice. Hagrid.  
  
Soon Hagrid's face came into view, and the pain in Harry's neck seemed so little now, compared to the searing compassion in his heart for his giant friend.  
  
"'Arry? Yer alive, thank god." Hagrid took something wet- Harry realized it was a damp cloth- and lifted up Harry's shirt, patting at his side. God, how it stung.   
  
Harry tried to sit up, but nothing happened.   
  
"I dunno if yer broke anything or not. You look 'orrible an all. Yer side, it's messed up bad. Can you sit up? Can yer talk?" Hagrid's big brown eyes remained on Harry's. Harry tried to shake his head, but nothing happened.  
  
"Yeh fell right through the window, yer did. It's a miracle that yeh survived. I was bout to go hysterical, an I called Dumbledore out there. He said yeh'd be all right. So I took yeh to my hut, and here you are. God, why aren't yeh saying anything?" Hagrid stopped patting at Harry's side and just stared at him. Harry wanted so bad to move, to talk to Hagrid, to thank him. To find Hermione and tell her he loved her. But all he could do was let tears slide down his cheeks.  
  
~*~  
  
He woke up a while later, and he could instantly tell it was morning outside. The whole hut was lit with sunshine that was pouring through the small windows. Harry tried to move again; he couldn't.  
  
Harry figured he'd have plenty of time to sort some things out in his head, so that's what he did. He thought back to all the thoughts that had raced through his mind when he was falling.  
  
'I love Hermione so much. Why am I doing this. I don't want to die. I need to live. What is going on around here. I changed my mind. I need to live --for Hermione.'  
  
And then everything had gone black.  
  
Harry took a sharp breath. It hurt so much to breathe. Why didn't Hagrid just take him to Saint Mungo's? And why did Dumbledore tell Hagrid that he'd be okay, when he could plainly see that Harry was paralyzed? Harry's mind was spinning, and he felt his headache coming back again. But the main thing that he couldn't stop wondering, was: How had he lived?  
  
Harry heard footsteps coming closer. They were soft and heavy, and Harry knew who they belonged to. Hagrid soon came into view again, and Harry tried to speak. But all that he could do was make breaths. Hagrid smiled at him. Why was he smiling? Why wasn't he taking this serious enough? Couldn't he see that Harry was NOT okay?  
  
"I brought yer some soup, 'Arry. Eat up. Yeh need yer strength." Hagrid brought the bowl closer, and placed the spoon full of hot soup on Harry's lips. Harry tried to move his mouth and take in the soup with his tongue, but he couldn't. Hagrid dipped the spoon thankfully, and the warm soup slid down Harry's throat. Oh, it felt so good. It tasted so wonderful.  
  
His whole stiff body felt almost new again, except for the fact that he couldn't move it. Harry wished so bad just to smile, just to thank Hagrid. But Hagrid was gone.   
  
In a split second, he had disappeared. Harry moved his eyeballs back and forth in his head, trying frantically to see anything out of the corner of his eye. But it was useless.  
  
Soon, after feeling so alone in the room, Harry suddenly felt as if he weren't the only person in the room again. He heard soft footsteps coming closer.   
  
The white silken hairs hung towards his face, and Harry knew right away who was leaning over him as the sunlight reflected off the half-moon spectacles. Dumbledore?  
  
Dumbledore's pale blue eyes shone in the sunlit room, and Harry was face to face with him; the least of anybody he wanted to see right now.  
  
"Harry. Glad we finally get to talk." Dumbledore's voice was not its usually calming voice; it was hectic and low. It had a mean sound to it, and it made Harry shiver.  
  
"I know what you tried to do. Everyone thinks you fell, but I know the truth. You willingly jumped out of that window." He paused. "Did you think just ending your life would solve all your problems? What about everyone else's? You were just going to leave them to handle all this on their own? Times are tough, and you were very selfish to try and just kill yourself. We all need you, Harry." Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's stiffened shoulder. "And that's why I saved you from hitting the ground."   
  
Harry suddenly felt very weak. Had Dumbledore just said he has saved him? No, there was no way that he could have. Harry knew perfectly well that he had hit the ground; that's why he was paralyzed at this very moment! Did Dumbledore think he was stupid? Was he really going to believe all this shit?  
  
Then it hit him hard, hard in the chest and Harry literally felt the air being sucked out of him. Harry had not jumped. There was something else that had happened, but he couldn't think straight. Something had happened to him when he was standing at the window, contemplating on his life.  
  
Why couldn't he see it? He tried to put the pieces together. Like a big puzzle. Then it all suddenly fit. Harry knew for sure.  
  
He had been pushed.  
  
Harry made a sound of anger, the first sound he had made the whole time he had been lying there at Hagrid's. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Harry? What's the matter? Figure something out?"  
  
Harry made more sounds of hatred, but couldn't make any words form. He just growled and huffed, grunting angrily.  
  
"Tsk, tsk. You must have realized everything. Too bad, I was going to let you live if you didn't." Dumbledore put his face closer. "That's right Harry. I pushed you out of that window, and I was going to make it look like an accident."  
  
~*~  
  
~A/N: Cliffhanger! Okay well please review! I know it's been a while. If you are perplexed by Dumbledore's behavior, think back. Remember? He was acting very strange all along. Harry and his friends had started to notice. Well off to do more procrastinating! Lol...Julie~ 


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